Lately, I’ve been hearing something that leaves me quietly unsettled. But today it worsened out
One of my mentees were asked by some external people,
“Do you pay Ray for mentoring”, We have heard he has been charging for mentoring.
Now personally, i dont know if there was malice in the question, or whether the person was unware about what i do. But It was asked casually, almost as if it’s obvious. And maybe in today’s world, it is obvious. Everything has a price now. Every skill, every hour, every conversation. If you know something, you package it. If you guide someone, you monetize it. That’s how the system works. People make their skills their selling preposition. Though my Mentee cleared the person’s doubt. i was abit shaken.
The truth is, I don’t charge for mentoring. And every time I say that, I can sense the disbelief. As if free means cheap. As if value only exists once money changes hands. I didn’t always think this way. There was a time when I believed that worth had to be proven through transactions. That experience needed validation through numbers. That if you didn’t charge, you weren’t serious. Life, however, has a strange way of re-educating you. Slowly and Sometimes painfully.
Keep in mind, The knowledge I share didn’t come easily. It came from years of Study, work, leadership roles, pressure situations, failed attempts, rebuilding, navigating people, navigating systems, and learning the hard way that theory rarely survives real life.
None of that was free. I paid for it in Hard earned cash, Blood, time, stress, mistakes, and lessons that stayed long after the moment passed.
So when I mentor someone, it’s never casual for me. I don’t treat it lightly. I don’t treat people lightly. But I also reached a point where I started asking myself a deeper question: what am I really seeking at this stage of life? Do i need to be paid to Mentor or Coach? Coz just becoz i paid for it.. .should i charge back? But then, I’ve realized that I am already paid back, just not in ways that can be counted.
I’ve been paid back in gratitude that came without expectations. In messages years later saying, “That conversation mattered.”, “Ray you changed my life”, “Ray i lived another year” and more. In prayers offered quietly by people who had nothing else to give. In good wishes that didn’t need reminders. In relationships that stayed even when roles changed, titles disappeared, or convenience was gone. Even in beautiful hand drawn greeting cards by children i have taught, to an unexpected Phone call, when im in desperate need of a voice. i am alive today, becoz of all of you.
You cant invoice those things. And once you’ve experienced them, it becomes very hard to put a price tag on every exchange.
Somewhere along the way, For me peace became important to me. Not the kind of peace you talk about in quotes, but the practical kind. The peace of not turning every interaction into a transaction. The peace of listening fully without checking the clock. The peace of knowing that you helped because it felt right, not because it was profitable.
We live in a constant race. Deadlines, expectations, comparisons, demands of living, demands of being relevant. It wears you down. And in that noise, peace becomes the most expensive thing you can own. Mentoring, for me, became a way to slow that race down. To stay human in a world that is increasingly mechanical. To remind myself that relationships matter more than reach, and intention matters more than optics.
I don’t mentor everyone. im picky and alot of factors matter. But when I do, I show up honestly. Not as a guru. Not as a consultant. Just as someone who has walked a little ahead on certain roads and is willing to point out where the potholes are.
Do I hope for something in return? Yes, I do. And I won’t pretend otherwise. I hope for blessings. I hope for prayers. I hope for good wishes. I hope for relationships that are real and lasting. Not because I expect them, but because life has taught me that when things are done with the right intent, balance finds its way back.
Some people choose to collect money. Some collect influence. Some collect followers .. thats their wish, i have nothing against them. But for me, I’ve chosen, consciously, to collect peace and meaningful connections. And so far, that choice has felt like the right one
