The other day, I had to tell a mentee something that didn’t sit well with him. He was adamant about pursuing a situation I knew he wasn’t ready for. He pushed, argued, even tried to find fault in me simply because I said no.
I finally told him:
“It’s okay, I never stopped you from trying. But I will stop myself from training you to fail.”
That’s where mentoring differs from coaching.
A coach might focus on the “how-to.” A mentor, on the other hand, goes deeper. We don’t just pass on knowledge, we prepare the mindset, we create opportunities, we hold your hand when you’re not steady, and most importantly, we know when you’re ready to face the world without embarrassing yourself.
But when a mentee argues, dismisses feedback, or treats “no” as a personal insult, that’s not growth, it’s a recipe for disaster. Worse, it risks destroying the trust between mentor and mentee. Let me honest, I’ve always been upfront: I’m tough. Not everyone can handle me. But those who do, grow. And im tough, coz i dont have time or room for those not keen to build themselves. Im tough coz i know your abilities, what you can do and what you cant. Im not tough becoz of unresolved personal issues, and im never biased. This is who i am…!
Infact Two of my favorite LinkedIn recommendations captured it best:
- “While he may seem tough on the exterior, beneath that is a mind full of innovative ideas and a heart that truly cares… He doesn’t just advise, you learn from him and leave with greater clarity.”
- “He carries a persona that’s not everyone’s cup of tea—bold, unfiltered, and unapologetically honest… He mentors with purpose, guides with passion, and pushes others to bring out their best.”
That’s why I believe: it’s better to hear the hard truth from me, than to be judged and beaten down by the world.
Mentors come in all forms. Some are sweet as candy, others tough as gladiators. Both have their place. The key is this: mentoring is not forever. It’s a journey meant to evolve. The mentee must walk away with lessons that serve for a lifetime, while the mentor expects one thing in return….growth!
Because if you’re not evolving, you’re just arguing. And that’s not mentoring….that’s ego.
